Southern Belle Fashion

Sometimes, in the fashion world, a movement sweeps through and changes everything; skinny jeans, the return of bright colors, retro sunglasses-styles.  These movements blow up and tend to hang around for a couple years, moving from runways to the public, eventually becoming looks for hipsters who wear these styles ironically.

Then there are movements that just don’t make a whole hell of a lot of sense; saggy pants, side-ponytails, backwards ball-caps.  These looks initially make the wearer feel proud, like a peacock, and only come back to embarrass the once-proud peacock years later when someone finds the photos.  Another look that will inevitably end up a part of the embarrassing list is the jorts-and-cowboy-boots look.

You may wonder what I mean by jorts.  Jorts are Daisy Dukes, a pair of jeans cut into shorts (for our purposes “jirts” also means jean-skirts).

This look is retarded.  It is the sartorial equivalent of wearing edible panties with a business pant-suit.  No matter how “country” you’re trying to look, it ultimately just ends up looking like the prostitute escaped from the farmer’s fantasy-barn.  I see this look a lot here in Texas, especially on younger women.  I suppose it satisfies the urge to look both like a skank and an equestrian, so maybe it’s just a little role-playing.  The thing is, there are much more sensible ways to look slutty and country.  You could put spurs on stilettos, or maybe wrap a bra around your Stetson.

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This looks fucking stupid.

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