So here’s the deal: Like many other people trying to make a little cash these days, I’ve taken to Craigslist to unload some of my stuff. Most of the interactions I’ve had have been harmless or even garnered positive results (two guitars sold!). Granted, Craigslist is risky for everyone involved. You never really know who you’re meeting, or the quality or authenticity of what you’re buying, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised with the results thus far. I’ve been honest and fair in my selling practices, and aside from being mildly creepy, the buyers too have been honest and fair in purchasing.
All that said, I was messaged by a lunatic this morning. I’m listing a flute for purchase for 100 bucks. It’s hardly been used, and working at a music store, I know what these things are worth. I had considered my listing to be pretty straight-forward:
“Hey folks, looking to sell an FA Reynolds student level flute. This is a flute produced in Abilene, TX, and is in great shape. You’ll be able to see how beautiful this instrument is from the pictures, and apparently the pads even look pretty good, though it may need a couple. It comes with a hard case and has been very gently used. Normally a student flute will go for upwards of $400 dollars, so this seems to be a fair asking price.
Check out the pics!”
At the bottom one can view four pictures of the flute.
Easy-peasy-no-fucking-problem, right? Wrong.
I woke up this morning, after a 3 day flu that has decimated my stomach and sense of reality, and checked my e-mail. There, I found the ramblings of a mad man. Or a genius:
“Great looking flute, kinda small, though. Guess all they’ve got to do in Abilene is play small flutes when they’ve not rounding up rattle snakes to play. Ever seen a clarinet chasing a rattle snake? How about a trombone going after a small monkey riding a dogs back dressed up like a cowboy? Just kidding!!! I’ll give you $10 for your tiny flute, cash money, US dollars.”
I suppose I should also clarify – this is a normal sized flute. Nothing crazy about it. It’s not a magnet or a novelty for a pet mouse. It’s a flute.
Initially, I was offended. How dare this fucker talk to me about snakes and trombones and then offer me 1/10th of my asking price… how dare he call my flute tiny!
Then I thought about it from the perspective of a harmless, possibly inebriated Texan, perusing Craigslist at 10:00 in the morning, looking for the perfect tiny flute. I have brought his dreams to fruition and he thinks I’ve typo’d and added an extra “0” to the $10 price tag this tiny flute should have. It all makes perfect sense and I’ll be meeting up with him to exchange this flute made for such small hands for the $10 he proposed.
One more reason, Texas. Just one more reason I hate you.
Also: I was able to figure out his real name thanks to his ridiculous e-mail address, just in case this is to be an ongoing exchange. I always like to know who I’m having an exchange with.