The Final Chapter

This is my farewell to Texas; I’m washing my hands of this state and writing my final testament here.  Many of the people I’ve met here in Texas have questioned my disdain for this state, so I find it only appropriate to finally open the windows and air-out all the fermented dissatisfaction.

It’s 88 fucking degrees here today, and it was in the 60’s last week.  Fuck you, Texas weather.  It’s a lie when people talk about the “dry heat” in the DFW area.  It’s as hot and humid as a sumo wrestler’s taint out there, and it’s not going to get better.  You people who keep denying this “global warming” conspiracy, opting for the “Liberal Media bias” argument – I hope you enjoy your denial while bursting into flames when you step outside to mow your lawn.  It’s hot as fuck out there.

“The economy in Texas is great!”  Bullshit.  I call huge bullshit on this one.  I’ll give you this; the economy is great in the way that there are an abundance of jobs if you don’t mind minimum wage and absolutely no checks-and-balances systems for employers.  Go read up on Texas Labor Laws, go read up on worker protection in Texas; prepare to eat shit if you’re even suspected of dissention in the eyes of your employer.  Yeah, jobs are great here if you have no aspirations of a living wage or job protection.  Also, while businesses enjoy some great incentives to grow here, look at the wages of the workers and the poverty rates among those workers.  How about utilizing some of those great incentives to help your citizens, or keeping up with your business code enforcement?  Anyway, enjoy it for now, Texas.  This shit is already starting to plateau as your population booms and innovation subsides.

Your politics suck.  I tried to keep an open mind, I really did, but when a former employer corners me the day after Obama’s reelection to explain to me that Obama is (no shit) just like Hitler for reasons A, B, and C – I just can’t deal with you anymore.  I saw a cowboy driving his truck the other day, proudly displaying a huge American flag on his window, next to it, a sticker demonizing the “Liberal Media”, next to the anti-Obama sticker.  Was he driving a Ford?  Nope.  How about a Chevy?  Nope.  He was driving a Nissan.  I might be crazy, but that just seems laughable to me, coming from such a patriot.  Texas wants to secede – let it (even though that wasn’t part of the Annexation – the more you know).  Rick Perry shits on Hurricane Sandy relief and asks for funding when suddenly Texas needs disaster relief.  That hypocrisy perfectly describes this state.  Someday, those of you who hold your best interests above all else, will die, and no one will give a shit.  You will have lived a pointless existence, and the rest of us will be happy to see you go.  Get with humanity, or get out of it.

You treat your animals like crap.  This is a nationwide issue, but I’ve rescued and re-rescued more dogs here than I ever have anywhere else.  You people couldn’t give a shit about another living creature, and you’re all the worse for it.  My own dog is a rescue, passed around the neighborhood when one family would get tired of him and just let him go.  If you don’t see why that’s a problem, then you’re an idiot.  I was attacked by a loose dog in my neighborhood last year, and do you know what the owner had to say?  “Well, he’s had his allergy shots, so you should be ok.  Oh, you’re really bleeding there…” I don’t give one fuck if your dog is tolerating ragweed better this year, he shouldn’t be out running around fucking biting people.  You’re lucky I’m not some little kid, or the parent of a child that the dog had bitten, otherwise you’d be enjoying the long-arm of any frothing attorney looking for a cake-case of negligence.  Quite honestly, the only reason I didn’t call the cops was because I didn’t want the dog put down.  It’s YOUR responsibility to take care of your animal, to make sure that he or she isn’t running around biting people – get it?  Probably not.

Now, I’ve covered a lot in this little blog of mine, but I’ve barely scratched the surface of this back-assward-state.  You would have to have lived here to understand, and I strongly suggest that you not make that move, at least not for the experience.  I have met a handful of good people here; I’ve met three Nick’s, a Dominic, a Cole, a Jim, an April, a Cyndi, a couple Daniel’s, a Patrick, a couple Michael’s, a Tara, and probably about five other people I didn’t see on my list of contacts.  You people have kept me sane, alongside my amazing wife, my crazy dog, and my generous, loving parents.  You folks deserve better than this, and many of you don’t even know it (or are somehow finding the good that I’ve lost here).  I’m going to miss you guys, and I’m sorry to so many of you that I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye to – you deserve better of me than that.  Just know that you folks gave me a break here, mostly from my anger and darker sense of self, and for that I’m forever grateful.  The rest of you though – get your shit together, ‘cause I’m not going to be here to call you on it anymore.  See you around, Texas, just one less “Liberal” to deal with.


8 thoughts on “The Final Chapter

  1. Passingby says:

    Well put. I needed a reality check. I’m wanting to leave Portland and be old elsewhere. For a hot minute I was considering going back to Texas. Everything you wrote is exactly why I left that pit of DISPEAR. Maybe Iowa isn’t looking so bad after all. Thanks again. Great piece, keep it up.

    • Steve says:

      Thanks for the kind words! Yeah, leaving this state is probably going to be much easier on my state of stability. Sadly, this blog will go along with the move, but I’m glad I helped you remember why you aren’t here anymore!

  2. walt walker says:

    Wow. I’m sorry you had such an awful time in Texas. I grew up in DFW but moved to Ohio a few years ago. My wife and I dislike Ohio quite a bit, though not as much as you seem to dislike Texas. We would like to go home. Some people just don’t belong in some places, I guess.

    • Steve says:

      I totally agree – some places just don’t agree with some people. We just weren’t crazy about the politics, weather, or traffic there, but I’m sure you got all of that from this blog.

  3. Kera says:

    I couldn’t agree more with this blog.

    I can’t believe how awful the workers are treated in this state. It seems that 7 out of 10 jobs are low wage. I have lived in this state a few years and I’ve had to file wage claims against four different employers just to get my paycheck. The companies here threaten and intimidate workers and I have not been able to find a job that offered health insurance since I’ve lived here.

    The wages are so low. I’ve lived in five different states and I’ve never seen wages this low. Most pay only a few dollars over minimum wage. I college educated with a degree in finance. However I still only make a third of what I was making out of state.

    It’s like you do three times the work here for a third of the pay. The employers here are extremely predatory and most don’t mind abusing or ripping off their workers.

    The heat is unbearable in the summer months as well.

    • Steve says:

      The only thing I give credit to Texas for is their unemployment services – mainly because they seem to at least acknowledge how fucked the job situation is there. They were rather gracious with me when I was “emancipated” from my job there (that was my employer’s big word in the letter of explanation). They seemed to at least sympathize with the lack of employee protection, though that’s small consolation to being released from a position without proper cause.

    • John Moroney says:

      You have to remember how many bodies compete for those low wage jobs. Illegal immigrants, human trafficking, slave wages literally, at least as far north as houston, maybe farther.

      • Steve says:

        I think you’re agreeing with Kera’s sentiment, but it’s hard to tell on these threads. What I can say is that having been away from Texas for a few years now, there’s no way I’d go back to that lifestyle. It was degrading to graduate college, hunt endlessly for a decent job, and only get calls back to receive minimum wage positions.

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