I hereby resign myself to live in this Godforsaken state a little while longer. I’m not promising to like it, I’m not promising to try, but I will stop closing my eyes and pretending I’m somewhere else while I live here. That said, this blog, which will undoubtedly get 5 views from my fiancee and her aunts (hello ladies!) is my attempt at dealing with living in America’s armpit. At times I may be vulgar, at times my posts may read as humor, but I assure you that all of this is actually happening. This is non-fiction. For the 10 people I’ve met in Texas that pass for human and act decently by human standards: I’m sorry, you really don’t belong here anyway. Welcome to the ultimate in Americana parody; welcome to Texas.